Reading for Fun and Profit

Last month I read a book that was not only funny, but made me think:

• Wow, this woman hates people more than I do
• Wow, this woman is crazy
• Wow, I wonder what would happen if I did that?

The book was I See Rude People: One Woman's Battle to Beat Some Manners Into Impolite Society by Amy Alkon. Alkon takes on the idea that people who are publicly rude (talking loudly on their cell phones in close quarters, complete disregard for the people around them, complete disregard for manners and common courtesy) and tries to teach them a lesson. She's not picky abut who she battles, whether it be telemarketers, cafe cell-talkers, the guy who stole her car or big businesses. It's funny and really makes you think twice about how you'll react when someone imposes their rude behavior on you.

Alkon does two things I really enjoy. The first is what she calls blogslapping. Alkon has a blog and basically whenever she sees rude behavior (cars cutting people off or a business that gives poor service, for example) she snaps a picture and loads it to her blog or relays the bad service story. Then everyone know who the offender is and can harass en masse. Sort of like what I did when the Ann Taylor clerk lost the ability to communicate regarding coupons. The other thing is that she bills offenders for her time. Alkon actually has posted on her blog her rates for being interrupted by telemarketers. And when one calls (despite her being on the Do Not Call list), she sends them a bill for her time. She's actually sent a lot of people bills for making her take time to sort out a situation they were responsible for. Her claim is that her time is valuable and they need to recognize that either by not wasting it in the first place or paying her for it.

Which brings me to my third bullet point, what would happen if I did that. Recently I was shopping in BJ's and had a reasonably sized order. It was a Saturday afternoon, so it was very busy and I opted to use the self-scanner. I usually use the self-scanner because I find I'm faster than the check-out clerks. But this day it was a situation of--hey there's no one in that line.

I scanned all my items, and began scanning my coupons. However, the coupon box wouldn't register that my coupon had been inserted and wouldn't let me proceed. A check-out clerk came by to clear the machine, but after trying everything she knew how, it wouldn't work. She called over a second clerk. He tried many different things to no avail. Apparently the entire machine just froze. His response, "Well, just get in line and we'll scan it for you."

Me: No, you can open up a register and scan it for me because I'm not waiting in line. I've already been here an extra 10 minutes because your machine failed.

Male Clerk: Um, yeah. Um, ok. Lemme see. (Calls the first clerk over to open a register. She says ok, but as I follow her to the register, she keeps stopping to help other customers. Um, Hello!) Don't worry about it. I got this.

Female Clerk: Ok (Still helping other customers)

Me: (Confused look on face) Seriously?

Male Clerk: I got this. I got this. Go ring her up.

Female Clerk: Oh, Ok (finally walks to the register)

She scans my purchases, takes my coupons and my payment. And then I make the big ask:

Me: Thank you so much. Who can I speak to about getting reimbursed for my time since I was inconvenienced here today?

Female Clerk: Um, you can talk to Male Clerk about it.

Me: Thank you. Have a great day. (Walking over to Male Clerk) Thank you for helping me. Now, who can I speak to about getting reimbursed for my time since I was inconvenienced here today?

Male Clerk: I can call a manager for you.

Me: Thank you, I appreciate that. (Manager comes over and I explain the situation and make my request, telling her that my time is valuable. At this point, I'm thinking that a $10 or $20 store gift card would be fine. Basically I just wanted an acknowledgment that there was a customer service FAIL on their part.)

Manager: Well, she rang up your order, right. It only took another minute.

Me: No, it took another 10 minutes until they figured out they couldn't fix the machine. My time is valuable and I want to know how you're going to reimburse me for my time.

Manager: Well the machines break and we aren't responsible for that.

Me: You're not responsible? I understand that machines break, but it's certainly not my fault. Even though...

Manager: (Oh no, she didn't just interrupt me.) I'm just saying there's nothing we can do if the machines break.

Me: Excuse me. I'm still talking and I would appreciate it if you let me finish. (Manager closes her mouth and nods). Thank you. Even though the machines have problems, I shouldn't have to be inconvenienced by it. My time is valuable and I want to know how you're going to compensate me for that.

Manager: Go to the front desk and she'll extend your membership for a year. (Walks away)

Me: Thank you very much. I appreciate your time.

Who knew? I really felt justified that I shouldn't just sit back and idly let something impact my day and my plans. All I had to do what ask. And by staying calm and rational, I got a free year's membership, worth $45. Not to shabby.