So, there's a wild dog outside...

I gotta love my job. I get to interact with business executives from all over the word who are pretty cool (generally) and share a lot about their cultures and experiences. It's also fun to share a little of my culture and experience with them. Like when some of the individuals from India comment that they've never seen snow before. Who would have thought someone would actually be excited to visit Boston in the dead of winter?

But this past month offered the best of my cultural differences stories. Due to migratory patterns, Boston (and Massachusetts in general) sees a lot of geese. Like many institutions, I work for an organization that is trying to reclaim our lawns from the goose poop which is a) disgusting and b) plentiful. One means of retaliation against the geese is the use of a coyote decoy placed in the middle of the lawn. It really doesn't work, but nonetheless, there he sits.

So one morning during my last program, I came downstairs to the classroom with my colleague only to come face to snout with the coyote decoy, standing on a table that had been intended for bagged lunches the day before. Next to the table is one of my flipcharts that I use to convey announcements to my participants. The message, presumably from the decoy, read, "Good luck today on your negotiations. It's a jungle out there. XOXO The Dingo (that ate your baby)"

(By the way, do you know what happens when you get a bunch of people together from all over the world who own their own companies and don't know the meaning of expense report? They drink...a LOT.)

So imagine my surprise when I walked into the classroom to find one of the Australians already there. He was the group's unofficial photographer, so I had to inquire:

Me: Have you taken a picture of that little display outside?

Aussie: Oh, I have pictures. I have pictures from the whole debacle of how it happened. Want to see?

Me: Um, I don't know. Do I really want to see the incriminating evidence?

Aussie (walking toward me with his camera): Oh, they aren't that bad...Well, um, I guess that one's a bit crude...um, let me see...

Me: I will not be offended if you do not want to show me. I promise.

Aussie: Well, maybe...yeah. No, I can't show you.

So I actually am still perplexed as to how this all happened, but am absolutely convinced the Australians were involved. But then, another participant (American) came in to distribute St. Patrick's Day beads (did I mention this was St. Patrick's Day? It was.) to all the desks and eventually ended up putting beads on the dingo.
So here's what else I learned that day. One of the other guys from the United Arab Emirates had a room facing the lawn where the dingo previously lived. For the first 3 days he was here, he was very concerned that this wild dog was outside on the lawn and no one was doing anything about it. By the 4th day, he'd had enough and stormed downstairs and outside to take matters into his own hands. He was going to scare that sucker away. Luckily, one of his classmates caught him and explained to him that it was fake. To his credit, he has a great sense of humor and every time he walked by the dingo next to the classroom, he had a full belly laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.

Oh, but it gets better. The coup de grace was the next day, when the dingo was returned to it's loving home on the lawn outside our building. There is a walking path from the side near the lawn that many people use when coming from public transportation onto campus. I'd just walked into the office and was going over something with my director when a woman comes to the front desk with a concerned look on her face.

Me: Good morning. Can I help you?

Woman: Hi, I work here on campus and I was just coming off the footbridge and I don't know if you're the right person to tell, but I'm really concerned. (She looks fervently out the window toward the lawn.) There's a wild dog out there on the lawn and there's nobody, no owner or anything, nearby and I'm afraid it's going to hurt someone. It's looks really mean.

Me (I promise you, I did not laugh in her face, really, I didn't): Oh, that's the decoy to keep the geese away. It's not real.

Woman: Oh. (pause) You must get that all the time. I'm sorry. (pause) It looks so real!

Me (smiling and nodding my head): Yeah. Thanks for checking. Have a great day!

So, the geese know that it isn't real, but at least 2 people thought it was real. And I come to find out, when the woman came in with here concern, the dingo was still wearing his St. Patrick's Day beads.

Situation Made Right

Because I know so many of you were concerned, I wanted to assure you that last week I did receive my discounted skirt from Ann Taylor. And it was even more adorable that I remembered. Since I can't get the photo off the website, here is the link. So cute. And fit great. Although when I ordered it over the phone, Jessica, the manager, asked me, "You said a size 2, right?" I actually laughed out loud, hard, and said "Oh, hell no," and gave her my correct size.

So crisis averted and Ann Taylor continues to reside on the good list of retail stores I will continue to patronize. Perhaps one day I'll have a bout of bad judgment, go into a store I've vowed to never visit again, and have a story to remind me why I said I'd never visit again. You'll love that, I promise.

Emergency Birthday Party

(A time lapse may or may not be involved here...I've been busy living these stories--no time to write about them!)

My friend C had a birthday last weekend. Her fiance K had planned a dinner out at a wonderful restaurant. They'd gotten through appetizers and their entrees when he was called into work. Bummer. C said she was pouty for about 6 minutes and then ordered dessert to go. She texted D and I to see if we wanted to celebrate with her. Always ready for a good time, we said yes, however we were still out to dinner ourselves. Ever the optimist and not about to sit around twiddling her thumbs, C went to get a margarita and waited for us.

D & I quickly finished dinner and then went to get emergency birthday party supplies. What does one need for an emergency birthday party, you ask? Ice, margarita mix, a lime and tequila. What did you think I was going to say?

We called a few friends, got them to come over, told C we were home and voila! Instant birthday party.

The following details are a bit fuzzy, but the gist of it is, we drank. A lot. I was working on my tasty beverage--a Red-Headed Slut--after killing the bottle of Jaeger when C showed up. D was making margaritas, so I had to hurry. I slammed my drink and moved on to the frozen concoctions.

Here is where I plug my blender. D and I registered for a KitchenAid mamma-jamma blender for our wedding even though our blender "worked." We ended up receiving the KitchenAid as a gift, but hadn't actually used it yet. Holy crap. This sucker is amazing. It was all slushy and perfect--like a restaurant margarita. It's amazing how much better those things are when made with the appropriate blender (and don't even get me started on the milkshakes I made last night).

So after 2 margaritas, we decided to play my new favorite Wii game (yes, Just Dance--I'm still obsessed). C had introduced me to it and we had a mild dance off, during which our friend E came over. A few more margaritas later, we had danced enough and were off to stumble down the street to the most dive of dive bars where a friend, S, was bartender that night. We go in, she's surprised, and then the wheels start to come off the bus. She makes us the strongest drinks I've ever had (getting back at the doorman for charging her friends' a cover) and then brings a round of shots. I believe some of my best statements included lines like, "I can't feel my lips. Are they still there?" and "Hey, let's text K!!"

Upon leaving the dive, we "walked" back up the hill to the house, where I decided to tell everyone to "SHHHHHHHH! IT'S LATE!" and "I keep falling down. How come my legs stopped working?" Surprisingly, I made it all the way home without inflicting bodily harm. Although I discovered I did lose my pedometer at some point--I can't imagine how that could have possibly happened.

So what do 4 drunk adults do when they get back into the house? Play Just Dance, of course. (Seriously, it's not just my obsession. Although I may or may not have already written a letter to Ubisoft explaining to them why I want my favorite songs in Just Dance, Vol. II, out by this holiday season.) Guess what--I'm not that good when I'm drunk either. But I'll bet you knew that.

I'm pretty sure I woke up at 7 am still drunk, evidenced by the number of walls I ran into en route to the bathroom. D and I dragged our sorry asses out of bed at 10 am to make a Dunkin' Donuts run and came back to enjoyed such bad for you, but good for the hangover treats like my Chocolate Stick and his Sausage, Egg and Cheese sandwich. And then at 10:30 am, D said the 5 little words that made me realize I'd married the perfect man, "I think it's nap time."

OMG, Someone Fixed Their Mistake!

Holy crap. I had a customer service FAIL that totally turned out good. When does that ever happen?

On Saturday I had a fabulous day of shopping. D went out to play in the dirt (er, mud) with his Jeep and I decided to finally use a pile of gift cards and coupons I'd had accumulated up. Seriously, I had gift cards to Lord & Taylor from maybe 2 years ago. It was pouring rain and I was totally looking forward to it.

I showered, got dressed, and left the house. I drove about 45 minutes to go to the really good mall (Natick Collections--it's so good, they don't even call it a mall). I got there early, which was good because with the rain, everyone wanted to park in the garage, not the lot. I parked, entered the mall in all my fabulousness (I looked great) and began my shopping spree. I won't bore you with the details, but the numbers are as follows:

4 dresses
4 skirts
7 tops
1 pair of pants
2 pairs of earrings
a bag of loot from Bath & Body Works
and miscellaneous funness from a Target stop on the way home

Total value of merchandise (also known as regular prices): $984.57
Total after in store sales: $592.53
Total paid with coupons and gift cards: $294.93
Total cash of my own I spent: $302.56

And of that cash, I actually still had the $250 I won last month on the SuperBowl Squares, so I really only spent $52.56 (which would have less, but I broke down at Target and bought a bag of jelly beans--but I digress). So yes, I am a shopping superstar, you're jealous, bow to me, yadda, yadda. But I digress--let's get to the good stuff.

When I was at the mall, I visited Ann Taylor. I heart Ann Taylor. Great work clothes, they always fit well, good quality, classic style. I had a coupon for $25 off my entire order. I browsed around the store, tried on a few items that ended up not working and finally decided on 2 shirts. They were having a sale if you bought 2 regularly priced items, you would get 25% off your order. I did not know if that would work in conjunction with my coupon, but I figured the nice lady at the counter would tell me if it didn't.

I proceeded to the counter, handed my items to the cashier and gave her my coupon. She rang me up, and in the process, the manager comes behind the counter, sees my coupon, and takes a look. The cashier gives me my total and I say, "Did you get my coupon?" She looks at it on the desk and says, "yes." Satisfied and not paying attention, I hand her my cash and the manager and I proceed to have a conversation about how she has never seen the coupon before. I said yes, I received an email asking me to take a survey, and when I was done, I was rewarded with this coupon. That was the reason for the visit, since the coupon expired the next day. We exchanged other pleasantries and I left the store, wishing them a great day.

Seriously, I had an awesome day, what with the shopping, and the me-time, and looking fantastic. I got home, and I just had to know what I got vs. what I spent, so I pulled out my receipts. And that's when I notice it. My coupon at Ann Taylor was not applied to my order. What? That was like $25 in cash. I was so upset. That coupon was kinda what spurred the entire shopping trip. I was not going to let that ruin my awesome day.

So I called the store 7 hours after I left it. I spoke to a wonderful assistant manager, Penny, who was so upset for me. She was ready to credit my card immediately. And even though she couldn't find the coupon in the register paperwork, she said she would look through the trash. The trash!! He kindness and willingness to correct the situation floored me. Unfortunately, since I paid cash, she couldn't figure out how to fix it. She promised to talk to the manager in the morning, and they would figure out how to send me a check for the difference or give me a store credit for the value of the coupon. I couldn't have been happier with Penny.

The next morning, Penny called me to say she had spoken the Jessica, the store manager, who remembered the situation and since she wasn't working that day, would call me the next day to correct the issue. Still pleased, I thanked Penny for her help and awaited my call from Jessica.

On Monday, Jessica called me and said she there was some miscommunication at the register, because my coupon wouldn't be applicable in conjunction with the sale. But since my coupon was of greater value, she could put the difference (a whopping $3.50) on a store credit for me.

[Insert part where Ms. C. starts to get firm with who is in control of this situation here]

I explained to Jessica that there wasn't a miscommunication, there was no communication since the cashier failed to explain that the two promotions would not work together. Had she mentioned it, I would have gone back and found a 3rd item on which to use the coupon. Jessica responded with a "Yeah, I guess...um, ok. We'll I don't have the coupon code though." After a lengthy conversation where I reiterated several times how I acquired the coupon, no I do not have the code, no I do not have the link to the survey I took 3 weeks ago and no, I do not have the email that invited me to take the survey, Jessica finally said she just needed to talk to someone to get the appropriate code and would call me back that day or the next. I stayed calm and told her I looked forward to hearing from her.

She did not call back that day.

She did not call back the next day.

I had just relayed this story to some coworkers who encouraged me to call and insert the ugly side of Ms. C. into the situation when I returned to my desk to a message from Jessica. She would be happy to send me an item with the discount applied. So I called her back and in 3-5 business days I should be receiving a very cute skirt at $25 off.

Frustrating as it was at times, I am actually incredibly impressed with how the situation was rectified and they worked to make me a happy customer. Could it have been handled a little more efficiently by Jessica? Probably, but overall, I'm very happy. My work is in a customer service environment with approximately 35 women who are in their target demographic, so a lot of them women I work with wear AT clothes. So, now I'm telling all my coworkers about my experience, and I'll have a fun story to share next time we have a customer service training.

So if you haven't shopped Ann Taylor lately, check out the sales. And if you need help finding good sales, I may be available. For a fee.

Still Here!

I suck at life.

Clearly I've been busy. I had a wonderful weekend that was very busy with errands, a friend's birthday party, a little bit of relaxation and then had to work on Sunday. It should go without saying that since I had to work on Sunday, that the days since then have been busy.

So I shall try to redeem myself.

My job is pretty interesting. I work with business executives from all over the world who come to my company for a few days to a few weeks for additional education. It really is a great job and I get to meet a lot of amazing people. My latest batch came in on Sunday and today, two of the guys gave us an amazing bouquet of flowers. Really--this sucker is over 5 feet tall. It's amazing and really making me feel like spring.


The next three weeks will be really busy for me, so I may not be posting quite as often, but I'll be thinking of really good things to talk about later. Such as:

• The fun party we'll have at work when this group completes their program
• D's and my first mini-moon we have scheduled next month**
• The great 30th Birthday Get-Together my girlfriend's and I have planned for this spring in Vermont
• And I really cool article I read recently on asking tough questions

I hope to not disappoint and hope to have more time soon!

**D and I didn't take a honeymoon right away. We'd planned to take it in April. Since he got hurt in December, we didn't plan anything. We wanted an "active" honeymoon and his injury would prevented him from participating in hiking, kayaking, etc. So now we're going to do maybe a couple little trips throughout the year, ending with a fun trip for our 1st anniversary.

A Change Will Do You Good

I read an article yesterday about how sometimes a change in your life is all you need for a new perspective, new beginning, new you. Change can be a powerful thing for your outlook on life. Maybe like how getting married, turning 30, or cutting off all your hair makes you stop and look at things just that much differently. The article stressed that you have to change for the right reasons (that is, you want to do it), not change to appease someone else.

It really spoke to me because in the last six months or so, I've made lot of changes in my life and I believe they have been positive and helped me get to a place where I am happier. Even the seemingly little things have had a bigger impact than I ever would have imagined. I grew my hair quite long for my wedding. Now, I've always had long hair and have cut it shorter at various stages (like the morning of my sister's wedding). But this time, I went pretty short. A cute bob with bangs. I haven't had bangs since I was 12 or so. A pretty dramatic change to my look, but in the grand scheme of life, not a big deal, right? Surprisingly, no. Months later I'm still getting compliments from people I see regularly. My attitude at work is a little more professional since I feel a little more pulled together in how I look. I even feel more confident shopping for clothes. Is it all the hair? Probably not, but I do feel the hair started some other little changes that collectively brought me to Happyville.

The article references a website, First30Days.com, designed to help you make a transition. Everything from how to manage your finances, get healthy or master your iPod are topics with advice and tips on moving through the first 30 days of that change with success. What a great idea! I've only skimmed through a couple of the topics, but the information is incredibly valuable. I moved to Massachusetts just over four years ago. D and I wanted to be at the next level of our relationship, but the long distance wasn't making that an option. So I moved. And that was hard. The moving advice on this website really woke me up to why it was so hard. According to their experts (and you'll find they have real experts in each area), "Among the first three things you need to plan for are finding a place to live, arranging your finances and finding new friends."

What a wake up call. It seems like such a simple thing, but 'finding new friends' was the hardest part of me moving and I didn't make it a priority. So the transition was clouded by the fact that I missed my friends. Don't get me wrong--I was excited about moving, being with D and starting a new path. I just wish someone would have said to me, "When you move, make sure you find a doctor, know where the grocery store is and make new friends."

Four years later, I have friends I adore (although I'm still not a fan of MA) and have gone through many more changes. And thinking about them (the article suggests making a list of all the changes you made or lived through--like moving, recovering from an accident, starting a new career--to see how much you have accomplished), has really solidified my new perspective and reminded me that I make the decisions in my life that impact my happiness.

Can't take yourself too seriously

I am so sore.

But I am a dancing machine. Watch me get down.

I suppose I should back up. D and I like to play video games. D had a PS2 that we played together and then we both got PSPs for our commute. Recently we traded in the PS2 for a Wii and have been having a lot of fun with it. We just play goofy games and enjoy spending a snowy, cold winter evening together.

So last week, my dear friend C told me she got Just Dance for the Wii and absolutely loved it. It's fun and a great way to embarrass yourself or others while playing a game. Her son actually told her, "That's so wrong," while she danced to Ring My Bell.

I was intrigued. I went online and read some about the game, watched the hi-LAR-ious videos of other people playing the game and was hooked. So Saturday I bought the game, and Sunday all chaos ensued.

This is what I learned: I am not coordinated.

I sort of already knew that. A few years ago, I had a Pilates DVD at home and decided to try it. I ventured to our basement gym and popped it in the player. Although no one else was home, I managed to embarrass myself into hysterics for how poorly I could 1) do the correct movements; and 2) keep up with the instructor. I have refused to do Pilates ever since.

So it should come as no surprise that the first time I played Just Dance, I was bad. Really bad. The game scores you on Bad, OK and Great and at the end of your performance, it will tell you the percentage of moves you had in each. I was more than 50% bad for at least the first 4 songs.

But it was so much fun. I must have played for over an hour and a half yesterday. C came over and showed me how to do it (and kicked my butt on every song). Then my friend R came over and played (her first time even hearing of the game and still schooled me in 2 out of 3 songs).

I love to dance, I just never had anyone actually point out to me that I'm rhythmically challenged. The game wants you to be a mirror image of the dancer on your TV. At one point, D looked at C and I and said, "One of you is wrong because you two are a mirror image of each other." That would be me.

So I shall practice. And come my friend's wedding in June, I shall overcome my coordination and rhythm impairments and own the dance floor.

Or give everyone a good laugh.