Only in Pittsburgh

This past weekend, Dave and I took a trip to Pittsburgh to visit my Dad and watch a little football.  We were excited to see Pitt pull of a huge upset over Virginia Tech by a score of 35 to 17.  While we were there, Dave got hungry so we stepped out to get some stadium grub at Heinz Field.  Dave opted for something more substantial than my soft pretzel: The Allegheny Burger.  A burger topped with keilbasa and a perogi.  Few things are more Pittsburgh than that.

The next day we went back to Heinz Field, this time to cheer on the Steelers during their 27-0 win over the New York Jets.  It was wonderful.  But the entertainment truly started before we even got into the stadium.  In order to direct the massive crowds of people crossing the streets separating parking from the stadium, and to make sure the cars could get through without hitting people, police officers managed to make everything run smoothly.  They were there for the Pitt game, too, but on Steelers game day, they carry equipment other than their whistles.

Yup, that policeman is directing traffic with his Terrible Towels.  So was his friend, but I only got on shot.

I love seeing the crazy that is Pittsburgh. It makes me feel at home with my peeps.

Oh, and then I totally dominated fantasy football this week...to make up for the fact that I lost to JR the week before.  

Super Bowl Sadness

Yup, I'm bummed.  It was a little sad to watch the Steelers lose the Super Bowl on Sunday night.  Especially since we had a big party and lots of Steeler fans (or fans for the day). But I can't be too upset with Green Bay because I do like Aaron Rodgers. 

The Steelers overcame a lot this season to be as successful as they were. I'm not going to get into the Big Ben debate because, well, I don't want to.  But the team (because the Steelers are a team and not just a quarterback with some other guys) had a lot of challenges to face.  Multiple key injuries throughout the season, the best defensive lineman in the league (James Harrison) being singled-out for doing what he's always done--make big hits, and starting the season with second and third string quarterbacks.  And yet they still made it to the Superbowl.  Had they not turned over the ball so many times or if they'd have played the first half as well as they played the second half, they may have won. 

But we had fun nonetheless.  My friend Dina, who is from Pittsburgh but lives in Boston, came out with her friend Gretchen.  Our friends Rachel and John came out for the day, bearing black and gold cupcakes that Rachel actually decorated with Steelers logos.  Cindy and her son came for the night, as did Stacy and her family.  Plus Dave's friends Nick and Ben enjoyed the beer and my crazy cheering.  I think I thoroughly amused Ben for months to come.

Panda did great.  She was a little nervous at times, but settled in ok.  There was a little barking, but I think that was more from being scared when Dina and I screamed and jumped during a Hines Ward touchdown.

My favorite part of the season has to be the combination of hairiness among the team.  Between Troy Polamalu and his crazy hair and Brett Keisel's beard with its own persona, there was plenty of humor to be found.  Even Steelerbaby got in on the action.

Or seriousness, like when Aidan told Amy that he wanted hair like Troy Polamalu's.  I guess he's going to need some Polamalecules.

Best Fantasy Match Up EVER

This past weekend, my brother and sister went head to head in fantasy football.  It's a rivalry by definition, but JR pulled out the big guns and it may have been the funniest thing I've even seen in fantasy football.

Backing up, you need to understand that I grew up in a family that played games, especially cards.  Years ago, my sister, Amy, was on a pretty good losing streak and one day my grandmother said to her, "Amy, you're a born loser." (We all think Grandma's pretty funny.  Except Amy.)  Years later, we're playing cards and Amy was doing really well.  Since Grandma wasn't at that family gathering, JR took a small picture of Grandma and put it next to Amy, as though to curse her.  And it works.  Amy went downhill from there, and didn't win the rest of the weekend.

So naturally, when JR called me on Thursday night asking for a picture of Grandma, I burst out laughing.  This is what he put up as his team logo:

But better still, is the logo Amy (AKA Keisha--which is a story for another time) has for her team:

 

For real, for real.  So this is what the match up looked like:

JR's slogan was, "Amy, you are a born loser."  And sure enough, he won by 20 points. I'm not sure which is funnier, the fact that Grandma took on Keisha (and won), or the fact that JR pulled out a decade old Grandma curse to win in fantasy football.

Better still, when I told Grandma JR used her curse on Amy, her response was, "Meh."

Sunday Night Football

This weekend Dave and I visited my parents in Pittsburgh. While we were there, we went to a Sunday night football game at Heinz Field between my beloved Steelers and (one of) my favorite team to despise, the New England Patriots.

So disappointing.

Heading into the game, we were stoked and ready for a great match-up.  The crowd wasn't as into it as I'd hoped, but I figured they'd come around. Some of them probably weren't regulars since it was a night game, and maybe they just need a few good plays to get rowdy.

But alas, the Steelers had some terrible flaws.  I won't dwell on the lack of first downs or how the wide receivers couldn't hold onto the ball.  Or how Troy Polamalu read nearly every single play opposite and was never on the correct side of the field.  Or how the defense forgot to put coverage on any of New England's wide receivers.  We will discuss none of that.

Instead, we will discuss the six jagoff New England fans that had the seats in front of us.  Oh. My. God.  Completely obnoxious.  And they weren't even drinking. 

Now I've been to a lot of games (my dad has been to a lot more), and it's not uncommon for someone rooting for the opposing team to be sitting nearby.  And 98% of the time, it's a cordial environment where they recognize they are in the opponent's home, and while they can be excited for the team, they should be respectful.  Even Cleveland Browns fans understand that.

But these guys were so obnoxious, disrespectful, and just plain irritating.  Well, except for one.  He wasn't bad.  The guy in front of me, however, was President of the I'm a Jerk 20-Something Guy from New England club.  The type of Patriot fan who thinks Tom Brady is the second coming, and only likes football because New England is doing well.  Once the Patriots lose a few games, all sports energy will be focused on the Red Sox, Celtics or Bruins (in that order).  He reminded me of every guy I see in Harvard Square who will walk on the wrong side of the sidewalk, run into you, and they yell at you for being in the way.  Cocky, over-confident and needing to be taken down a peg.  (By the way, this was my opinion even before the scoring started, so trust me when I say these observations are not because I'm bitter at the loss.  I'll be the first one to tell you the Steelers played terrible football on Sunday night.)

So Captain Jagoff and his cronies are starting to tick me off. My reaction was to shut them up by rendering them inaudible.  So I cheered.  And yelled.  And screamed for my team.  Yes, I'm hoarse, but I don't care.  I was louder than them and at least I can say I cheered for my team regardless of how they played.  Dave told me later that apparently they were laughing at my cheers and even recorded them.  Frankly, I don't care, but it does illustrate my point--how much can you be focused on the game and cheer for your team when you're allowing yourself to be entertained by a chick in a pink coat and hat?

The worst was when my dad practically had to hold me back from completely ripping them a new one.  They committed the cardinal sin of standing up while play was going one and then not sitting down when asked (politely). 

Me:  Sit down, I want to see the play.

Captain Jagoff (still standing): It was a fair catch, it's ok.

Me: No it's not ok, sit down so I can watch the game.

Captain Jagoff: What? It's a football game, I can stand.

Me: No, I paid as much for my seats as you did for yours, so when I ask you to sit down, please do it.

Then another one of the charter members for jerkiness chimed in.  And then, before I stood up to give him a real piece of my mind, my dad stepped in.

Dad: Sit down, turn around and watch the game, or I'll have you thrown out.

Jagoff Junior: Why?  What I do?

Dad: Just turn around or I'll have you thrown out.

Captain Jagoff (Best line ever): Dude, he knows someone in security, chill out.

This was good, since I was one step away from going to get a security guard.  Although Dad's comeback line would have been, "Yeah, my son's the Head of Security."  A total lie, but these jerks would've bought it.

They continued to be jerks and Captain Jagoff tried to get a rise out of me when we left by calling after me, rubbing in the pain from the loss, but I didn't give them the satisfaction.  If only because it would have cost my parents' their season tickets when I punched him in the throat.  At least I had the dignity to not stoop to their level.

But does drive me crazy that even at Heinz Field, I couldn't shake the plague of the jerks riddled throughout New England.

Fantasy Update

Not good, my friends.  

I'm slowly slipping.  After two weeks in the number one spot, I've started a slow decline in the fantasy football universe.  I held the number 4 spot for a while, but after suffering a loss this week (stupid Ryan Torain--Running Back for Washington on my opponent's team), I'm now in 6th place out of 16 teams.  I'm so frustrated that I lost because my quarterback (Matt Cassel from Kansas City) was actually better than my opponent's, the long-haired hippie Tom Brady from New England.  

The good news is that I am 3rd in my division, out of first by only 14 points.  So as long as I get some more wins and bunch of points, I can reclaim my rightful position at the top.  With the Steelers' Defense and some reasonable Wide Receivers, I might be ok.  My defense has been what saved me so far this season; combined with my Kicker (Steeler Jeff Reed), they scored more points than the rest of my entire team one week.  Clearly, I'm stoked that Troy Polamalu is back this season. 

Next month Dave and I are headed to Pittsburgh where we'll get to see the Steelers take on the New England Patriots at Heinz Field in a Sunday night brawl.  I was there the last time the Patriots played in Pittsburgh, when the Steelers snapped the New England winning streak that spanned two seasons.  I expect this year's game to be equally exciting.

And it will be fun watching my husband cheer for the Steelers and then look conflicted, since we play each other in fantasy football that week.

It's All a Fantasy

Fall has arrived in New England. The air quickly turned crisp and cool, it's raining again, and the apples are ripe for the picking. And of course, football season has commenced. Although I have to deal with stupid Patriots fans (this news story is a perfect depiction of fans as they justify leaving the games early), I also get to beat up on people in Fantasy Football.

It took a while for me to settle on a team name, but in the end I took a slight branching out from my ninja obsession, but still incorporated the theme, thanks to one of my favorite blogs, Sleep Talkin' Man. I settled on Fashion Assassins. My logo is:

I might not change this all season, I love it so much!

As the commissioner of the league, you'd think I'd be good. Not so much. The last two seasons I finished 10th out of 14 teams. This season we have 16 teams, so I figure if I still finish 10th, I've improved. My draft was less than stellar, because although I ended up with the Steelers' defense and Cardinal Larry Fitzgerald, I also ended up with Jeremy "Most Overrated Tight End Last Year" Shockey and, gulp, Bengal's quarterback Carson Palmer.

Week one had me matched against John, my friend Rachel's husband. Now John knows sports and football. Rachel, well, she calls fantasy football it fairytale men and ranks her draft based on how cool or funny the players names are (shocker that she has T.J. Houshmanzadeh). I was a little nervous going into the matchup since John was projected to beat me by at least 20 points.

Of course, then the most terrible opening weekend in the NFL happened and a lot of the games were crap. So despite John getting 41 points from Arian Foster in the Texans win over the Colts (???), I won! The final score was 144 to 137, but I was sweating the whole time. The lead kept changing on nearly every play, and since John had players in both Monday night games, I wasn't completely convinced I had the win.

And now I'm first in the league.

It's all just a rouse, though, because I'm sure it won't last. There is no possible way for me to keep it up. This weekend I play my friend Loni's husband, Jason. I saw him the other day. He told me he hates my league because Loni drafted Peyton Manning and got a bazillion points from him, even though Peyton's team lost and Jason's quarterback is crap (he's got Joe Flacco/Falco). But when he realized he and I were matched up this weekend, he changed his tune, promising to bring the pain.

We'll see. I'm projected to lose by 12, but for me that's not definitive enough. Our quarterbacks go head to head, although my Steelers defense plays in Tennessee this Sunday, while he's got New Orleans D playing San Francisco. So, who knows? All I can say is I'm so glad football's back (even if I lose).

Are You Ready for Some Football?

For me, the month of July is like being a kid during the month of November, fixated on sweet anticipation of Christmas. You know it's too early to really decide what Santa should bring you, but there's no reason you can't bank up some good "better not pout, better not shout" points to ensure your status on the nice list. And while it's only preseason and it doesn't count and it won't even be very good, I've spent the last 6 months eagerly anticipating the return of football. My personal sports quota has been way below normal, with the beginning of the lull delayed due to the Winter Olympics, and then a mild increase during Celtics playoffs, but overall, since February, I'm more than two quarts down.

I love football. Specifically I love Steelers football. But over the years I've come to appreciate the entire sport and all the players who make it great. I think this comes from having moved away from Pittsburgh and therefore being exposed (whether I like it or not) to other teams.

When I lived in central PA, I mostly got Pittsburgh games, but sometimes the Eagles would come through too. And of course I don't get nearly enough Steelers games in MA. And I have a profound loathing of the New England Patriots. So I've come to watch whatever game is on Sunday afternoon. And then the 4:00 game. And the Sunday night game. And when Dave broke down and we got cable with ESPN, the Monday night game too.

My excuse started as "Well, if I watch this game, maybe they'll give me highlights of the Steelers game." But the more I watched, the more I was interested in the different players and teams. Don't get me wrong, my loyalties lie in Heinz Field, but I can appreciate a strong player on any team and can spot a good game when I see it.

And while I'm not a fevered sports junkie, I've started doing something that I once believed was reserved only for the most dedicated sportsaholics. I joined a Fantasy Football league. And then, because I had so much fun and wanted to play with people I knew and could really get into it with--I started my own league.

I'm the commissioner of a trash talkin' league full of family, friends and coworkers. We take it seriously (well, we take the trash talk seriously) and while for the most part it is just for bragging rights, there is a Family Cup that my sister, brother, brother-in-law, D and I throw a few bucks into, winner take all for the team among us that rates highest. D won last year, but ended up not getting his money since he couldn't come to Pittsburgh and collect his winnings as a result of his back injury. So we spent his winnings on beer when the Steelers beat the Ravens at Heinz Field after Christmas. (So I think that means everyone but D won that one.)

Yesterday I renewed the league, so now begins the second most important part of fantasy football (the first being creative, funny, and insulting trash talk): picking my team name. Two years ago I start with my love of all things ninja and was the Trailerpark Ninjas. Last year, in keeping with the ninja theme, I developed several ever-changing names, including Bridal Ninjas, Ghetto Ninjas, Ninja Muffins, Rainbow Ninjas and Defeated Ninjas (I ended up in 10th place out of 14th--at least I don't take my team development too seriously). This year I'm starting out strong, with Ivy League Ninjas (What we lack in brawn, we make up for in brains) although that will require me to pay serious attention to team development. I'm open to suggestions!





Oh, and as long as I beat my family, I don't care if I lose every other game.

Let The Games Begin

This evening, D and I will begin our trip to Pittsburgh for my Family Reunion on Saturday. We'll get into my parent's place tomorrow afternoon. My brother will already be there with his daughter and her half-sister. My sister will get in with her husband and two kids on Friday. We'll harass each other and have a great time and leave on Monday.

I'm really looking forward to it. Mainly because I'm sure I'll get blog-fodder, especially from my brother, J. He can't help but be funny and do dumb things. It's almost like a super-power. And he also can't help but get himself into trouble and think and can one-up my sister and I. So we band together and verbally bitch-slap him into submission until he's talked himself into a corner and is left with no choice but to drink more beer (or some random combination of liquor he finds in my parents house. True story--he once, (maybe more than once?) drank a pint glass with half milk, half Bailey's. Not a bad combination, it's just the quantity that kills me. He did have the presence of mind to use it to wash down a stack of cookies, though).

Anyway, to prepare for his antics this coming weekend, which I'm sure will be quickly checked by my sister, I thought I'd share this nugget. Especially because I'm sure this situation will be debated more than once this weekend.

My parents hold 4 season tickets to the Pittsburgh Steelers. They've had their seats since the mid-70s and have been going to games since then. Growing up, it was a BIG DEAL if one of us got to go to a game. Now, it's a matter of who can get their check to Mom the fastest.

Due to the deadlines of when the payment for tickets are due and when the season schedule comes out (usually within weeks of each other, sometimes payment before you know what the schedule is), you really need to commit to how many games you want to go to and send your check, not necessarily knowing which one you're going to get.

Last year, being that the Steelers had won the Superbowl the previous season, we knew the Steelers would have a home game and be the first game (read: Thursday night) of the season. What was unclear was exactly when the season would start. I got my check in to Mom first and secure my spot at first dibs. Lo and behold, the Opening Game was scheduled for the Thursday before my wedding. Woohoo! Let's kick off the wedding weekend getting crazy at the football game!

After several months of debate and a lot of grumbling on my part, it was decided that it would be best if I didn't go to the game and lose my voice. (Happens every time--what can I say? I'm a screamer.) What with having to do last minute wedding details, my sister and I decided to stay home with Mom and the kids and the boys (Dad, J, D, and my brother-in-law, N) would go to the game.

About 2 weeks before the game, I got a call from an aunt who's niece had two extra tickets and did my sister (A) and I want them? Um, hell yeah! Jokes on the boys now, because our seats were much better (let's just say my parents seats have a skyline view, and these seats were 35 yard line).


Never mind that A and I were fed a lot of beer from the two guys next to us and kind of forgot about eating dinner--we had a good time. As a result, however, J says I owe him.

Fast forward to this year. In February, I'd sent my mom a check for something that ended up falling through. She'd mention she would shred it, but I told her to keep it since it was the same amount for 2 tickets to a game. Score--first dibs secured yet again.

In April, the schedule was released and I immediately see two possible choices. And then I get a phone call from my brother.

J: Hey, did you see the schedule? What game are you going to?

Me: Not sure. What game did you want?

J: Well, I was thinking that Atlanta game looked good.

Me: Oh, you mean the home opener? You mean the game that falls on my one-year anniversary? Yeah, I don't know about that.

J: Ok,that's fine. I'll take the Patriots game.

Me: Oh, you mean the game my husband really wants to go to in order to irritate all our Patriots-fans friends?

J: Dammit.

Me: Yeah, I'm not sure, I've really got to think about this. Which one do you really want?

J: Well I would love to see Tom Brady killed on the field.

Me: Ok, well, what are you going to do for me?

It went on like this for a little while. D and I had already decided to take the Patriots game, but I enjoyed tormenting my brother, as is customary.

So I'm sure this weekend there may be some "discussion" related to the games, perhaps bribery may be involved. All I know is that I will continue to get my money in early and often, because tormenting my brother is hilarious.