Sibling Harassment

My brother has never been the neat one in our family. I wasn't either--that role belongs to my sister--but growing up J definitely had the messiest room and to this day is still a little bit of a disaster when it comes to order.

Simulation of J's messy room growing up. And possibly his house now.

So it should come as no surprise that when we all come home to my parents' house that when things are scattered about the house in disarray, chances are high that those items belong to J. In his defense, however, when we went home for our family reunion, he did have to sleep in the living room and really had no one particular area to keep things tidy. Not that he tried, but his options were limited. (See--I can be nice to you.)

J brought his 7 year old daughter, E, and her 14 year old sister, T, with him to Pittsburgh. My sister, A, had been harassing J for his clutter and then came to the conclusion that he might be successful in taking all his stuff home with him since he had a female who could keep track of things with him (T).

Moments later, A was folding laundry in the living room, a hodge-podge of everyone's clothes that needed cleaned from playing outdoors at the picnic grove. She picked up a pair of J's shorts, and in a homage to his housekeeping said, "Whose could these be? J's! Let's fold them like he would!" and promptly threw them in the air. What she didn't realize was that she was mighty close to the ceiling fan and the shorts got stuck on one of the blades (although throwing things into a ceiling fan and letting them live where they land might be one sort of organization tactic. Just sayin'.)


But the funniest part happened after we left. A few days later, Mom emailed us with a list of items that had been left behind at the house. If it hadn't been for the "2 bras and 1 undergarment--stringy" listed among the evidence, the logical conclusion would be the items belonged to J. But alas. The follow up email from A read, " Sorry...I am turning into J after making so much fun of him..."

Let The Games Begin

This evening, D and I will begin our trip to Pittsburgh for my Family Reunion on Saturday. We'll get into my parent's place tomorrow afternoon. My brother will already be there with his daughter and her half-sister. My sister will get in with her husband and two kids on Friday. We'll harass each other and have a great time and leave on Monday.

I'm really looking forward to it. Mainly because I'm sure I'll get blog-fodder, especially from my brother, J. He can't help but be funny and do dumb things. It's almost like a super-power. And he also can't help but get himself into trouble and think and can one-up my sister and I. So we band together and verbally bitch-slap him into submission until he's talked himself into a corner and is left with no choice but to drink more beer (or some random combination of liquor he finds in my parents house. True story--he once, (maybe more than once?) drank a pint glass with half milk, half Bailey's. Not a bad combination, it's just the quantity that kills me. He did have the presence of mind to use it to wash down a stack of cookies, though).

Anyway, to prepare for his antics this coming weekend, which I'm sure will be quickly checked by my sister, I thought I'd share this nugget. Especially because I'm sure this situation will be debated more than once this weekend.

My parents hold 4 season tickets to the Pittsburgh Steelers. They've had their seats since the mid-70s and have been going to games since then. Growing up, it was a BIG DEAL if one of us got to go to a game. Now, it's a matter of who can get their check to Mom the fastest.

Due to the deadlines of when the payment for tickets are due and when the season schedule comes out (usually within weeks of each other, sometimes payment before you know what the schedule is), you really need to commit to how many games you want to go to and send your check, not necessarily knowing which one you're going to get.

Last year, being that the Steelers had won the Superbowl the previous season, we knew the Steelers would have a home game and be the first game (read: Thursday night) of the season. What was unclear was exactly when the season would start. I got my check in to Mom first and secure my spot at first dibs. Lo and behold, the Opening Game was scheduled for the Thursday before my wedding. Woohoo! Let's kick off the wedding weekend getting crazy at the football game!

After several months of debate and a lot of grumbling on my part, it was decided that it would be best if I didn't go to the game and lose my voice. (Happens every time--what can I say? I'm a screamer.) What with having to do last minute wedding details, my sister and I decided to stay home with Mom and the kids and the boys (Dad, J, D, and my brother-in-law, N) would go to the game.

About 2 weeks before the game, I got a call from an aunt who's niece had two extra tickets and did my sister (A) and I want them? Um, hell yeah! Jokes on the boys now, because our seats were much better (let's just say my parents seats have a skyline view, and these seats were 35 yard line).


Never mind that A and I were fed a lot of beer from the two guys next to us and kind of forgot about eating dinner--we had a good time. As a result, however, J says I owe him.

Fast forward to this year. In February, I'd sent my mom a check for something that ended up falling through. She'd mention she would shred it, but I told her to keep it since it was the same amount for 2 tickets to a game. Score--first dibs secured yet again.

In April, the schedule was released and I immediately see two possible choices. And then I get a phone call from my brother.

J: Hey, did you see the schedule? What game are you going to?

Me: Not sure. What game did you want?

J: Well, I was thinking that Atlanta game looked good.

Me: Oh, you mean the home opener? You mean the game that falls on my one-year anniversary? Yeah, I don't know about that.

J: Ok,that's fine. I'll take the Patriots game.

Me: Oh, you mean the game my husband really wants to go to in order to irritate all our Patriots-fans friends?

J: Dammit.

Me: Yeah, I'm not sure, I've really got to think about this. Which one do you really want?

J: Well I would love to see Tom Brady killed on the field.

Me: Ok, well, what are you going to do for me?

It went on like this for a little while. D and I had already decided to take the Patriots game, but I enjoyed tormenting my brother, as is customary.

So I'm sure this weekend there may be some "discussion" related to the games, perhaps bribery may be involved. All I know is that I will continue to get my money in early and often, because tormenting my brother is hilarious.