I Did Say I'd Get My Own Boat

When Dave and I first started dating, I was living in Central Pennsylvania, in an area that basically existed for two reasons: 1) the college I worked at (and had graduated from); and 2) the Raystown Lake.  The lake is very much a recreational area that attracts lots of people for boating, fishing and other related outdoor activities.  So when Dave was visiting me over the summer, and I needed to up my outdoor activities if I ever planned to keep up with this Mountain Man, we decided to rent a canoe and head out on the lake. 

I don't know why I thought this would be fun.  I was (and still am) hopelessly uncoordinated and not quite interested in being outdoors with the heat and the bugs and canoeing is like real work.  Ug. I even wore Dave's generally infinite patience thin while we struggled to find a cove for our picnic lunch and then of course I was even more unmotivated to not be a complete pain in the ass while we negotiated out way back.  In the end, Dave basically said never again, but well.  We did try again a few years later in a much more relaxed environment (and with a friend so we were on our best behavior).  Then we discovered kayaking would be a far better paddle sport for us, since we could each get out own boat.  That was actually fun.  A couple summers ago we each rented kayaks and headed out on a local river for an afternoon.  Being far more mature and slightly more interested in being outside (despite the bugs and the heat), but still hopelessly uncoordinated, we had a lovely afternoon and have since talked about getting kayaks for ourselves so we could do it more often.

Fast forward to this past Saturday.  Beautiful weather, a long weekend, the unofficial start of summer.  Clearly a perfect day for a little kayak trip.  We'd been hoping to check out a local boat house on a different river a few miles from home, so we looked it up.  The rates were good, but of course if we get a tandem boat, it would be even cheaper.

Me: Yeah, but remember the last time we did tandem?

Dave: But this is different.  Kayaking is easier to do tandem than canoeing.

Me: I don't know, I think I should get my own boat.

Dave: No, it'll be fun.  You'll be fine.

You know that saying about famous last words?  Yeah, insert that here.

We arrived at the South Bridge Boat House to start our trip on the Concord River.  They have single and tandem kayaks as well as canoes for rent, and since it was a great day, they were pretty busy.  We didn't really care since it was just for fun and planned to head up to the Old North Bridge (you know, Revolutionary War, shot heard 'round the world, blah, blah, history, blah), about a mile and a half up river. 

So we started paddling and then I noticed we were drifting to the left.  Apparently this was my fault.  So repeatedly Dave made me stop playing (he didn't actually fire me) so he could straighten us out/get us back on the right side of the river.  When I got permission to play again, we'd be ok for a while, then of course we'd start drifting (again, my fault).  Now, bear in mind, the last time I kayaked was at least 3 years ago and that was my first time.  Also note, Dave did not give me a refresher course in paddling physics despite the fact that he knows I make stuff up when left to my own devices to determine mechanical or physics-related logic.  And I'm almost always "wrong."  (That last bit is in quotes because Dave says I'm wrong about a lot of science-related stuff, but I think he just wants to the science brain in this relationship, so he tells me I'm wrong even when I make a genius statement.)

At some point this whole thing just became comical and while I couldn't stop laughing, I do think Dave was at least mildly amused (I tried several times to take his photo but seeing as how I wasn't interested in flipping the boat over in an attempt to turn around and get a good one, I can't only assume this smile wasn't completely contrived).  I also repeatedly informed him that I had been the one to suggest we each get our own boat, but he was the one that insisted we'd be fine.

So finally, as we approached the Old North Bridge, having avoided any collisions (with other boats--I did try to goose some geese but they flew away) Dave, who was sitting in the back, noticed why we were bearing left and educated me.  And then I noticed that we were bearing right when he paddled, so I made fun of him.  To which he said it was only because he was overcompensating for me but I like to think it just proved we were meant to be together because if I bear to the left and he bears to the right, then together we should be in perfect harmony. 

Except really we weren't.  Instead we literally zigzagged a little over 3 miles round-trip on the Concord River.  Dave said it was exhausting.  I said it was getting our money's worth because we got to see more of the river that way.  When we pulled in to shore and the worker there helped us out, he asked, "How was it?"

Me: He said I have to get my own boat next time.

Stuff My Husband Says

Dave (after dropping something on the kitchen floor): Oops.  I've got the dropsies today.

Me: Are you pregnant?

Dave: No, but I am feeling a little bloated.

The Day Manners and Common Decency Don't Matter

Today the sun is shining, the skies are a vibrant blue and the birds are singing in the trees. Truly the picturesque beauty that could only be ordered up by an institution like Harvard University could request for its massive commencement ceremonies which largely take place outside.  Since the weather has the decency to compliment the stature and eloquence of the Ivy League school, one would assume the people involved in or attending said events would be equally poised and appropriately behaved as they usher themselves to the festivities.

One would be wrong.

In each of the last six May's, I have literally battled my way through Harvard Square, hours before the activities were to begin, only to feel like a bruised warrior, battling my way like a fish going upstream, just to get to work on time.  It's futile.  Among this most joyous of days in the life of a University, everyone involved in the activities tends to forget that outside of graduation, there are other jobs to be done and it's business as usual in the area, and some people just want to do their jobs.

I know you're proud of your son or daughter, your brilliant, genius baby who's graduating from Harvard (HARVARD!!) today.  And I know that you just want to get there early (2 hours early...or more) in the hopes of getting a seat close enough to see (even though the morning ceremonies do not include moment your intellectually superior spawn will walk across the stage).  And I know that you don't know exactly where you are going, so you may be looking up at all the buildings and signs, and not ahead where you about to walk into me.  You may not even be from this country, so there may be a bit of a delay as you catch on to customs such as which side of the sidewalk to walk on.

But.

But I assume that as you had the intellectual gifts to pass onto your child--who I hope one day cures AIDS or reinvents where we get our energy--you also passed on your pedigree of high society, or at least upper-class, with some refinement and knowledge of general decency and manners.  And by passed on, I mean taught your child, not give him or her all your knowledge and then delete it from your own mind.  Because what else could be your excuse for walking 4 people across on a tree- and lamppost-lined sidewalk that only has enough room for 2.65 people to walk abreast, despite the fact that other people are travelling towards you and if you don't move over a bit one of two things will happen.  Either a) said pedestrian walking towards you will be forced to walk in the street into oncoming traffic; or b) said pedestrian walking towards you will WALK RIGHT INTO YOU.

Now, which do you think I did when faced with this dilemma.  Hint: I didn't jump in front of moving cars.

And please don't get all snooty with me because I walked into you.  You gave me no choice, because as happy as I am for you that your young prodigy is graduating and will go on to do wonderful things, I do not think it's necessary for me to sacrifice myself by playing in traffic while I grant you the full access rights to the public sidewalk.  As I said, some people still need to work on this celebration day.

It's manners, people, and on a day of celebration, I would think in your teetering high heels not meant to be worn to walk though the crowded brick sidewalks of Cambridge and your designer dresser for ladies who lunch or men in their well-fitted suits (or the two men in top hats and tails), you would feel that this is a day that deserves a level of refinement and appropriate behavior.  General manners.

I promise, you won't be late for the ceremony nor would it kill you, to yield a bit of the sidewalk to those of us trying to get to work (you know, to do the things behind the scenes that help make it so your child could receive his or her education).

Besides, karma's a bitch.

Unpacking My Bags

Several years ago when Donald Trump's catch-phrase of "You're fired," became a part of day-to-day lexicon, Dave and I took it a step further and used it to express exasperation for any transgression the other many have made.  For example, if Dave for got to take out the trash, I'd tell him he was fired.  If I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, I was fired.  We probably fire each other from various things at least once daily, more on the weekends. 

Yesterday I fired Dave from inviting me on vacations. 

Turns out, that I'm not actually allowed to accompany him on this particular trip to Germany, even if I pay my own way.  I'm not exactly sure why.  But in any case, I was sullen and fired Dave, then told him that in the future he should get all the details before inviting me on a European vacation. 

Then I told him that he totally owes me and it should be big, shiny and come in pairs.

Packing My Bags

Last night Dave came home. Yay!  I missed having him around and even though it was for a good cause (work and all), I was glad to have him home.  While we were catching up, we talked about his two upcoming trips--another to Chicago for a day or so in mid-June and then a trip to Germany at the end of June for a week long training at their company headquarters.

He also told me about some of the sage advice he got from Jason, the sales representative he shadowed in Pittsburgh (the first piece being to turn off work--literally, phone, tablet and laptop--every Friday at 4 pm).  I haven't even met Jason, but I feel compelling to sent him cookies.

We talked some more about Dave's Germany trip--the 12 hour flight; changing planes in a foreign city, just being somewhere so unlike anywhere he's ever been.

Dave: Oh and Jason said I should take you.

Me (a little shocked): Oh. ?

Dave: Do you want to go?

Me (I): Um, yes.

What I should have said was, "Dude, lead with the invitation to Germany."

I studied German for 12 years, from first grade through high school and have always wanted to go.  My schedule didn't allow for me to study abroad in college, and I haven't had a class since I was 18, but dude, really?  I'll have to pay my own way, but that's ok, because I'll be in freakin' Germany.

Dave doesn't have the details yet (well, he does know the dates and his flight, but he didn't remember them when we talked), but I do know we're headed to Schwabach, which is in Bavaria. I see much beer in our future.

In the interim, I'll need to brush up on my German skills.  Good thing I work with people who are from there...maybe if I buy them lunch they'll ignore the fact that my grammar is horrendous and I forget words...a lot.  But I do remember how to order a beer and ask for the restroom.  You know, important stuff.

New Job + Travel + In Laws Back Home + End of Semester= Busy!

It's called new math.  It's accurate and I'll show my work.

Dave started his new job last week.  He was supposed to start this week so he could (mostly) finish his temp job (he would have missed the very last day).  However, just after they settled that start date, the company announced that the manager who would train Dave (Kristof, the same guy Dave is friends with who helped him get the position in the first place) is leaving the company at the end of May.  So in a rush to conduct a knowledge transfer (Kristof had been in charge of the sales territory Dave is taking over), the bumped up the start date and Dave hit the ground running.  Quite literally.  He spent an afternoon connecting with another sales person to get his company car (it's another Jeep. Seriously? We're starting to look like a dealership.).  After spending the weekend cleaning the car (it was filthy--and that was just the inside) and organizing all his materials, he started last week by visiting clients, former clients, and would-be clients with Kristof, learning pretty much everything he knows and presenting at a vendor show in Boston.  And then he traveled to Chicago this week to do the normal training stuff (first day on the job, ease your way into it thing) before heading to Pittsburgh last night to go to another vendor show with another sales person.  The good news was that he got to see my brother while he was in Chicago and he'll get to see my dad tonight in Pittsburgh.  I'm just hoping he thinks enough to bring me a Smiley cookie from Eat N Park when he comes home tomorrow night.

In the midst of this, Dave's parents came home last week.  It's nice to see them after they've been away for over 4 months, but of course having all of us living in the house is a bit of an adjustment.  We're working it out though and staying out of each others' way (I think).  But with Dave out of town this week, I've been taking advantage of getting a bunch of errands and other stuff done after work, so we really haven't gotten into an actual routine yet.  Maybe next week we'll figure it out.  Madaline and Ernie will be home for a few weeks and then have some short trips planned in the summer and fall before they figure out exactly where they're headed in the winter.

And of course, work is busy with the end of the semester and the crazy things that come with that.  Like students who can't read and faculty who ask really bizarre questions that I've answered six times already this semester.  But it's not all bad.  We've had some lovely guests in class the past week who were actually delightful and appreciative, which is always nice.

Plus Dave and I got to see the Avengers last weekend before he left.  It was awesome.  Go see it.  Like right now.