What Would He Do Without Me?

Actual conversation Dave and I had before falling asleep last night:

Dave: I have to stop at the grocery store tomorrow after I drop you off at the train station.

Me: Why?

Dave: We don't have any milk.

Me: Yes we do.

Dave: No, I used the last of it this morning.

Me: No, I bought another half gallon last night. I put it in the fridge behind the mostly used bottle.

Dave: Really?


Me: Yes.  You were in the grocery store with me.  You watched me scan it. You put it in the bag.  And I'm pretty sure you watched me put it in the fridge when we got home.

Dave: Really?

Me: Do you want to take a field trip to the fridge and look for it?

Dave: No, I believe you.  It's just that I didn't know we had any more so I didn't have any for my smoothie today.

Me: So what did you make your smoothie with then?  Light cream or almond milk?


Dave: We have those in the fridge?

Me: Oh my God.  How do you not notice these things?

Dave: I don't know!

I'm not exactly sure how we got on the subject, but a few minutes later Dave was talking about the spatulas we have (I have like 20 spatulas of different size, shape and material) and said he wished the back of them were flexible, but they're all stiff.

Me: I have ones that are flexible on the back/top side.

Dave: Really?

Me: Yes.  Why do you think I have so many?

Dave: I don't know.  I never saw one like that.

Me: Yup, there's a blue one with a metal handle in the second little pocket in the drawer.

Dave: Huh.

Me: It never occurred to you to actually look for what you wanted when you know I have spatulas in nearly every flavor.

Dave: No.

Me: Are you sure you don't want to take a field trip to the kitchen?

Dave: No, I believe you.

And then, mere minutes later after discussing the spices Dave used to make our dinner last night, he was commenting about the adjustable measuring spoon he used to measure out all the spices.

Dave: Yeah, I love that thing.   I only have to use one tool instead of a bunch.  I had a hard time with the 1/2 teaspoons and 1/4 teaspoons though. I wish that thing did partial teaspoons.

Me: You know we have two of those right? One that does partial tablespoons and one that does partial teaspoons.

Dave: No.

Me: Yup.  It lives in the drawer directly underneath the one you used.

Dave: Really?

Me: Seriously, how do you not see these things?

Dave: I don't know they're there!

Me: What the hell is wrong with you?

Dave: I don't know!

Me: Do you want to take a field trip to the kitchen now?

Dave: Yes.

So that's how I ended up out of my bed and in the kitchen about an hour after bedtime to show my husband the contents of our fridge and drawers.    Something's wrong with that guy.  And before we finally fell asleep, I told him, "I'm totally blogging this."