Bake Off

While my family was visiting over Thanksgiving, my brother decided to start some trouble.  While playing some games after dinner, somehow we got into a conversation about my baking and then it turned to my sister and eventually someone said, "You and Amy should have a bake off."  To which I replied, jokingly, "I would kick Amy's ass in a bake off."

Never one to let something go, and always willing to instigate something that will bring him food, JR took my phone and immediately texted that comment to Amy.  The following is a transcript of the frezied texting exchange.  Allow me to set the scene:  It's 10:00 pm on Thanksgiving night.  I am at home, having enjoyed a great Thanksgiving dinner, playing games with my parents, husband, brother and his girlfriend.  Amy as at her in-laws, having enjoyed a great Thanksgiving dinner, playing games with her in-laws, husband, sister-in-law and her husband, and there are four children under 7 who may or may not be around or awake.

Amy: No way lady...

Me:  oh, it's on...like donkey kong.

Amy: Bring it...

Me: oh it's already brought

Amy: Is that the eggnog talking? 

Amy: Even Ceil can't help you there. (referring to Grandma's "curse" on Amy)

Amy: Name your medium.

Me: um, cookies...bitch :)

Amy: I knew that...can you do anything else? :-P

Me: fine banana bread it is sucka

Amy: Love you!

Amy: That's fine.  But cookies is good too. Really.  It will be tasty.  I bake banana bread, but I don't eat it.

Me: betty crocker is my homegirl


Me: scared much? sounds like you're backpedaling. :)

Amy: Yes I'm scared.  Can you do a cookie from scratch?  no mixes or refrigerated dough allowed. (seriously?  I'm actually offended by this comment.)

Me: oh no you didn't

Amy:  Or...let's go straight to cake.  Paula deen is my bitch

Me: did karen (Amy's mother-in-law) just tell you to tell me that paula deen was your bitch?

Amy: Love ya...mean it!!

Amy: No.  Walter (Amy's father-in-law) actually.  And Shelley (Amy's sister-in-law)

Me: check betty crocker's facebook wall. you'll find the cookie princess featured.  you still wanna rumble? ;)

Amy:  Yeah why not?  Seriously...how much fun & tasty will that be?

Me: i make sara lee look like a hot dog stand with health code violations


Amy: Margaritas much?  Nobody does it like amy!! (Is this not the most random comment in this entire exchange?  How could I not ask her about her alcohol intake?)

Me:  how jack [daniels] have you had tonight?

Amy: "How jack"? You mean how much? Just one so far.  You?

Me: two yuenglings while cooking :)

Amy: Nice!

And that about ended it for the night.  Thirty minutes of texting ending with confirmation that perhaps we should not engage in drunk texting if were not even drunk.  A few days later we were actually talking on the phone and I explained that it all started because JR had sent the first comment.  And then we both admitted to be egged on by the co-conspirators around us who are really just looking for a means of getting to sample a bunch of yummy baked goods. 

Amy: But really, we should do this. I've been thinking about it.  We could have three rounds.  Round one would be a cookie. Round two would be banana bread.  And round three would be a dessert of your choosing.

Me:  You've put a lot of thought into this.

Amy:  I watch too much Top Chef Desserts.

Time and place to be determined, but looks like next time we get together, some lucky judge is going into a diabetic coma.