Why I'm Glad I'm Not 24

Last week I had an opportunity to take a half-day training session on Communicating at Work. Sounds like something you have to go to because you did something wrong (partially true), but I actually was interested in going before I was "asked" to look into it.

See here's the thing: you already know I work with mostly women, but what you may not know is that all lot of those women are young. Now I know what you're thinking--"But you're only 30 and you've spoken so much about how life is just beginning!" Well, yes that's true. But oftentimes I find that the 6 or 7 years between myself and my coworkers can feel like a lifetime.

There is an absolute difference in maturity and experience, as well as general work skills. It's amazing how working in an office every summer of college and having a work-study job in the Registrar's Office during my junior and senior years gave me skills that some of these young women can't even grasp. Like how to load a printer. Or change toner. Or order office supplies. It's really what irritates me the most about the people I work with. There are simple tasks that they don't need their fancy degrees for but yet they can't figure it out. I learned to do some of these things when I was 18 but at 24, they still stand there for 5 minutes trying to figure out if they have to take the cap off the toner.

But, back to my training. It was actually time well spent and the trainer was very engaging. He was down to earth, funny and made the material useful. Which is important. He discussed how to create an invitation to speak and a bunch of other stuff that only communication geeks like me would be interested in. I actually got a very good question answered. At the end of the class I asked him how I can create an invitation for someone to listen to me.

Here's the deal, my direct teammate has an aggravating habit of not looking at me when I'm speaking to her. Instead, she'll have her eyes glued to her computer (usually Face*book or G*chat) and responding to messages while I'm talking to her, regardless of whether I'm providing her with my witty banter or important information to accomplish our jobs. It was to the point that last week I was actually doing on of her tasks (because she doesn't know how to mail merge--yes I realize a lot of people don't, but this is actually something she should know because it's her JOB), and when it came to a point for me to tell her the next steps I had to say, "Look at me and listen because this is important." Seriously--how much of a bitch did I sound like. But nevertheless, I'd already said it (and she actually seemed unfazed by it).

Feeling like I should improve this style of behavior for both myself and my coworker, I asked the trainer what to do after relaying to him this most recent incident. And he had some genuinely good advice. He suggested I point out to her the behavior makes me feel crappy and like she doesn't care about what I'm saying, and then take the conversation from there. I haven't tried it yet, but I intend to and it will probably be successful.

So now the question is, at what point do you learn that it is appropriate to give someone your full attention when they are speaking to you? And when did it become such a bad thing to ask questions when you don't know the answers (like, hi, I'm new here. How do I order office supplies?)? It's really mind-boggling. Asking questions indicates that you are interested and involved and want to be successful. Standing there with a blank look on your face and an inability to complete your tasks indicates that you don't care and/or are stupid.

Honestly, was I that stupid when I was 24? (Anyone other than my brother can comment.)