The Day Manners and Common Decency Don't Matter

Today the sun is shining, the skies are a vibrant blue and the birds are singing in the trees. Truly the picturesque beauty that could only be ordered up by an institution like Harvard University could request for its massive commencement ceremonies which largely take place outside.  Since the weather has the decency to compliment the stature and eloquence of the Ivy League school, one would assume the people involved in or attending said events would be equally poised and appropriately behaved as they usher themselves to the festivities.

One would be wrong.

In each of the last six May's, I have literally battled my way through Harvard Square, hours before the activities were to begin, only to feel like a bruised warrior, battling my way like a fish going upstream, just to get to work on time.  It's futile.  Among this most joyous of days in the life of a University, everyone involved in the activities tends to forget that outside of graduation, there are other jobs to be done and it's business as usual in the area, and some people just want to do their jobs.

I know you're proud of your son or daughter, your brilliant, genius baby who's graduating from Harvard (HARVARD!!) today.  And I know that you just want to get there early (2 hours early...or more) in the hopes of getting a seat close enough to see (even though the morning ceremonies do not include moment your intellectually superior spawn will walk across the stage).  And I know that you don't know exactly where you are going, so you may be looking up at all the buildings and signs, and not ahead where you about to walk into me.  You may not even be from this country, so there may be a bit of a delay as you catch on to customs such as which side of the sidewalk to walk on.

But.

But I assume that as you had the intellectual gifts to pass onto your child--who I hope one day cures AIDS or reinvents where we get our energy--you also passed on your pedigree of high society, or at least upper-class, with some refinement and knowledge of general decency and manners.  And by passed on, I mean taught your child, not give him or her all your knowledge and then delete it from your own mind.  Because what else could be your excuse for walking 4 people across on a tree- and lamppost-lined sidewalk that only has enough room for 2.65 people to walk abreast, despite the fact that other people are travelling towards you and if you don't move over a bit one of two things will happen.  Either a) said pedestrian walking towards you will be forced to walk in the street into oncoming traffic; or b) said pedestrian walking towards you will WALK RIGHT INTO YOU.

Now, which do you think I did when faced with this dilemma.  Hint: I didn't jump in front of moving cars.

And please don't get all snooty with me because I walked into you.  You gave me no choice, because as happy as I am for you that your young prodigy is graduating and will go on to do wonderful things, I do not think it's necessary for me to sacrifice myself by playing in traffic while I grant you the full access rights to the public sidewalk.  As I said, some people still need to work on this celebration day.

It's manners, people, and on a day of celebration, I would think in your teetering high heels not meant to be worn to walk though the crowded brick sidewalks of Cambridge and your designer dresser for ladies who lunch or men in their well-fitted suits (or the two men in top hats and tails), you would feel that this is a day that deserves a level of refinement and appropriate behavior.  General manners.

I promise, you won't be late for the ceremony nor would it kill you, to yield a bit of the sidewalk to those of us trying to get to work (you know, to do the things behind the scenes that help make it so your child could receive his or her education).

Besides, karma's a bitch.

Open Letter to the Drivers of Boston & Cambridge

Dear "Drivers,"

Boston likes to say it's a walking-friendly city, and since the city is only 2 square miles, it sort of is.  I mean, you can walk anywhere.  But you shouldn't.  And you drivers are the reason why.  Because you fail to acknowledge anyone that isn't in a car.  Hell, you barely acknowledge that there are other drivers on the road. 

Unless you decide to pull my favorite trick: the non-moving violation.

Or as I like to put it, stopping in the middle of the damn road to let someone else make an illegal move.  Like, I don't know, pulling out into a crosswalk WHILE SOMEONE IS IN IT.

Maybe it's guilt from being stupid, rude and generally douchy, but at random moments a driver will decide to be "nice" and let another drive turn/pull out in front of them.  On a busy street.  During rush hour. Resulting in traffic backed up in the even busier intersection behind them.

This morning I was walking along the sidewalk, approaching a driveway to the delivery entrance of a college dining hall.  I walk this path every day and often see delivery trucks backing in and pulling out and appreciate the patience these drivers must have to wait for traffic in order to pull back out onto the busy street.  But that driveway, which actually has a crosswalk, is midway between two traffic signals, so it's never too long before the driver can get where he wants to go.

I was approaching from the right.  The delivery driver wanted to make a right hand turn. Clearly, this meant he didn't need to look to his right, only his left, to gauge his ability to pull out into traffic.  As I approached the driveway and stepped from the sidewalk to the "street," I was shocked and amazed to see a cab driver (of ALL people) stop and wave the delivery driver on. 

Let me reiterate: the cab driver, who had the right of way, a green light ahead and about a half dozen cars behind him, stopped in the middle of the road for no reason other than to let this driver out of the driveway.

WHILE I WAS IN THE CROSSWALK.

The delivery driver, excited and happy at the kindness of this stranger, started to pull out into the road.  Until I smack my hand on his hood and started yelling at him to remember to look both ways before he pulled out.  (Actually, no, I didn't curse.  Yes, I kind of regret it now.)

The good news is that this was a delivery van and not an 18 wheeler that often delivers to this location. The better news is that I think the driver was more scared than I was. (Serves him right.  Seriously, looking both ways is something you learn in kindergarten only to be reiterated in Driver's Ed 101.)

Morals of the story: Look both ways before pulling out into traffic.  Don't stop in the middle of the road to be "nice." (It's illegal; seriously, non-moving violation--look it up.) And for goodness sake don't get your panties in a bunch because a pedestrian is following their right of way in what is proudly boasted as a "walking" city. 

So, Drivers, be warned.  I will take my right of way and I will yell at you if you violate my right.  If you really piss me off, I might hit your car.  And if you keep it up, one of these days I swear I might need to rip you out of your car, GTA-style.  And if you can't see why I'm right, then you seriously need to go back to Driver's Ed.

XOXO,
Colleen