I Should've Kicked Her Down the Stairs

With the weekend storm, it was obvious that commuting on Tuesday was going to be a struggle.  Thinking about it and talking it over with Dave, we figured given all the options, the train would still be my best bet because at least then I wouldn't have to deal with unfamiliar detours and crazy drivers.  I might be a little late, but I'd be safe.

I took an early train in and still got to work about 15 minutes late (so about 45 minutes past the regular arrival time for that train).  No big deal--they'd only had an opportunity to work on the rails for about 8 hours, in the dark and it was still windy and rainy.  I figured the evening would be about the same, but hopefully better.  Anticipating a longer trip in both directions, I brought my Kindle and a couple skeins of yarn to work on some crochet projects.

We got off to a good start going home, but at some point came to a pretty abrupt stop.  There were only two conductors (as opposed to three) and they weren't the normal guys for that train.  It had been slow going up to that point, so it wasn't a huge surprise that we stopped.  It happens in good weather sometimes.  We sat for about 15 minutes before the power went out. Now, it was about 5:15 pm or so, still cloudy and becoming stormy, so it was pretty dark.  Ridership was significantly down yesterday (people dealing with power out at home or at work, kids home from school or maybe just decided to drive instead), so there wasn't a huge raucous among the riders.  People were generally of the same opinion--we expected to be delayed.  What was odd, however, is that the conductors weren't making announcements about what was going on, especially since the power went out.

I'll interrupt here to say that on Monday, the MBTA--Boston's public transit--suspended service mid-afternoon,before the brunt of the storm hit us.  One of the statements I read from the MBTA said, "the safety of our employees, customers and infrastructure is our number one priority."  And I was glad to see that part of that safety meant not running trains in hurricane-strength winds.

After another 5 minutes, a conductor walked through the car I was in, but didn't say anything.  When he was almost out, a rider hollered, "What's going on?  Are you going to make an announcement?"  Apparently this guy didn't get the memo because his response (to a complete innocuous, reasonable, and mild-mannered question) was, "We're trying to get the train running!"  The guy, upset and reasonably so at that response, said, "Well an announcement would be nice!"  To which the conductor got the last word of, "We're doing our best."  Well, apparently not because we were still stopped and still in the dark, literally and figuratively.  We had no idea why.  A few minutes later, we learned we were being hooked up to the train behind us when a sudden bump jerked the train, rather abruptly.  Following that, the other conductor came through and made an announcement that we were hooked up and would be pushed to our destination.  But that would require our normally express train (ha!) to make all the local stops.

It took an extra 1 1/2 hours for me to get to my train stop last night.  And frankly, despite almost losing battery in my phone (I was down to 5%), missing an appointment, being hungry and desperately needing to pee, I was ok with it.  Yeah, it sucks, but I knew this was a risk when I chose to ride the train and luckily since the train wasn't crowded people were on their best behavior.

Until we were in line to finally get off the train at my stop.  A woman (older, maybe 60s?) who I see often and is generally cordial, polite and makes standard "train conversation" (random musings with people you don't know) with other train people (not me--I generally keep to myself) decided to engage me while standing behind me in line.  I was decked in my rain jacket, hood up and tightened.  My hood has a string that lets you adjust the fit of the hood not only around your face, but also through the back, so an elastic band hangs off the back of the hood. 

This woman pulled the string. 

Not once, but repeatedly for several seconds. And she wasn't just pulling the string, she was rocking my head and neck back and forth.

Woman: This is dangerous. (pulling the string, yanking my head)

Me: Yeah....(completely flabbergasted, then pissed) so why don't you stop pulling it.  Because touching someone you don't know is a real good idea.  You don't touch strangers.

Woman (dropping string): I didn't mean...

Me: It is never appropriate to touch a stranger.  Ever.

She didn't say anything else and then it turned out that the door behind us was being opened, necessitating that we turn around and now I was behind her.

How old were you when you learned it wasn't ok to touch a stranger?  Why do people feel it's appropriate to put their hands on someone else?  I have friends who are befuddled when someone they don't know thinks it's ok to touch their baby or child without asking.  I'm not sure which is more shocking--that someone would touch a child they don't know or a grown adult who might just deck them. 

I was completely ok with being stuck on the train for hours, in the dark, but why would another person in that same situation think it's a good idea to doing something so inappropriate and irritating to a complete stranger?  I feel confident that this woman has ridden the train for enough years (I've been on it for 5 1/2 and have seen her often), that she knows the one way train commuters get on edge is dealing with a late train.

All I know is that I hope she was scared as hell knowing I was walking behind her as we exited the train.  Because it was all I could do to not kick her down the stairs.

Did That Really Just Happen?

I've taken public transportation for a long time. In high school, I took a public bus to school. While working in Washington, D.C., for a semester in college, most of my time was spent on the bus and Metro. While working my first job out of college, I took the bus until I bought my first car. And ever since I started working in Boston, I've taken the commuter rail and subway nearly every day.

So I've come to learn the ways of "train people." There are normal people, like me, who take public transportation. And then there are people who I believe exist solely to ride public transportation to make the normal people uncomfortable. For the most part, I'm able to disengage. I wear my headphones (the international symbol for "I don't want to talk to you") and am always engaged in one of the following activities:

• sleeping
• reading a book or magazine
• doing a sudoku puzzle
• crocheting

I am lucky that these behaviors have led to a fairly good track record of being left alone. But the other day I was forced to reevaluate my skills. Or just be perplexed at the new tactics of "train people."

Lately, since I have extra time, I've been walking to the train station instead of taking the subway one stop. However, it was raining when I left work and I was afraid it would begin to really storm again, so I decided to pop onto the T (subway). I was standing at the platform in standard form (headphones, working on a sudoku puzzle paperclipped to the cover of my novel), minding my own business and in my zone. Then the strangest thing happened.

Because I'm risking some of you judging me in this post, I must preface: I love the gays. I can honestly say that I have had the pleasure of being friends and working with some funny, sarcastic and genuinely nice gay men, albeit some have a stereotypical effeminate-sounding voice. Good guys, even if they don't particularly like girls--that's ok. So what happened next was weird.

I'm standing on the platform, in my zone, and this guy walks up to me. He's tall, light-skinned with "pretty" eyes, a few nondescript piercings and is reasonably dressed for what I assume is a undergrad. Nothing screamed homosexual to me, but if I were sitting on a bench playing gay or straight, I might have said bi. And then he started speaking.

Strange Guy: Um, excuse me? (yes, there was a lilt to his voice)

Me: Yes? (Taking out one headphone. WHY? WHY??? Damn me and my willingness to give directions to someone who looks lost.)

SG: Um, yeah, hi. So I saw you, um, standing here, and um, I just wanted to come over here, um and say hi...because you're, um, kinda cute. So I just wanted to say hi. Sorry.

Me (completely and utterly flabbergasted and confused): Oh. Ok. Thanks. Hi.

And then he just disappeared. For real. I don't remember seeing which direction he walked in, but when I came out of my confused haze, I looked around the platform and he wasn't there. There was a staircase nearby, so he may have gone to the lower platform, but that made it all the more random for me. So why was I so confused? Most women would be flattered to have a guy approach them. This is what was going through my mind while he spoke.

• Oh, he's so cute! He doesn't know he's gay.
• Wait--kinda cute?
  
• Maybe he does know he's gay and doesn't want to be, so someone told him he should just go up and talk to random women because then he might like girls.
• Oh no, he wants me to say something back.

And then when he left:

• Yeah, that was a training exercise, because who stops to talk to someone when they are on there way to catch a train on another platform?

I think I'll keep walking up to the train station.

Must Have Been the Good Weather

If you don't know my feelings on the public transit commuters in Massachusetts, let's just say I'm not friends with them. The pushing, the shoving, the me-first attitude and the blatant disregard for the fact that other people are riding with you and that you are not in a bubble, drive me bonkers. But yesterday, I witnessed two things that my first thoughts were (in this order): 1) wow, that was really nice; and 2) I have to make a blog post out of this.

Yesterday afternoon I was on my way to North Station which required a longer trip on the T than I usually take. I'm fortunate to usually have a one stop ride, but this was 5 stops and then changing trains for another 3 stops--not my favorite kind of thing. But it was a pretty day, cool with some wind, but generally sunny. And after the month of March being monsoon season around here, even a little bit of sun was putting everyone in a good mood.

At one of the stops after I got on, a women wearing hospital scrubs got on. Nothing unusual, but she actually looked more like she was a patient, possibly chemo, and since the train was rather full, there were no seats (I was standing in the doorway area). And then something happened that has happened so infrequently, I could probably count the number of times I've seen it in 3 years on one hand. A gentleman in his late 30s/early 40s got up and offered his seat to this woman. I was so shocked I wanted to lean over and say, "You're a good man." And not as a means of being offensive to the people who didn't offer, but more to acknowledge that he did the right thing.

A few stops later, a much older woman (maybe 80s) got on the train with bag and her cane and was standing next to me (at this point, I'd moved further into the middle of the train, still standing). Immediately a young woman (20s probably) said to the older woman, "Please take my seat" and got up. The older woman protested and said no, but the younger woman stood her ground and said, "No, I insist" and moved away from the seat. The older woman sat down and was very thankful.

I was floored. Two random acts of kindness in one train ride!! That's amazing. And it made me feel a little better about my fellow commuters. Don't get me wrong, we're still not friends. But next time I might pause before I yell at someone for pushing me.

Who am I kidding? Of course I'm still going to yell at them.